The brave new colony

It's been a while coming, but finally the doors of Port Melbourne's very own brewery have been reopened to the public. Just like their Bertie Street predecessors, the Colonial Brewing Company started life over in WA, but unlike Matilda Bay they're still an independent brewer with deep roots back in the Margaret River.

With poor old Matilda suffering the ultimate "craft" indignity of relegation to just one of CUB's messy marketing tools, it's encouraging to see the place in fresh hands. They threw a house-warming party to coincide with the start of Good Beer Week, and are aiming to open their bar every Friday night thereafter. I really hope we start to see some of their exiting new beers in our local bars and restaurants the rest of the week. Under the stewardship of the parent Colonial Leisure Group, you can at the very least expect to see their (not at all) Small Ale nearby at the Albert Park Hotel and Lamaro's in South Melbourne.

Urban urchins

Port (and South) Melbourne received the attention of the RACV last month, courtesy of their magazine's regular feature on urban wedges to explore. "A pocket of Melbourne between the city and the bay that never dates" is the preamble into a colourful sprinkling of some of the neighbouring suburb's well known (to locals) gems, that thankfully avoids repeating the "heart of wellness" slogan.

According to the 2011 census, the under 15's make up only 12.4% of the Port Melbourne population (versus 19.3% nationally). Nevertheless, another dominant retail area seems to be emerging to join the hair salons, nail bars and bike shops on Bay Street, with Little Urban now joining the likes of Buckets & Spades, Junior Republic, Tiny Polkadots and Cotton on Kids. Hopefully the parents are a little friendlier to the staff than they are to parking officers.

Southern fox

Slowly, but surely, the near total domination of great pubs North of the Yarra is dwindling. And a surprising number of those Southern upstarts are conveniently congregating in a small area between South Melbourne, Port Melbourne and Albert Park. The latest arrival is particularly symbolic as it is the remote outpost of one Collingwood's best.

The Fox has moved into the, classy but troubled, Montague that overlooks one of Melbourne's more peculiar junctions. And, to the raised eyebrows I'd wager of nearby St Vincent Place residents, they've brought a pool table, a whopping twelve taps of craft beer (and a further eighty bottles) ... and a grouse pub grub menu that deftly satisfies both the parma appreciators and vegos/vegans of the world. It feels a world away from the its Northern brother's rooftop outlook over the Eastern highway, yet somehow its inherited claret red walls and homely carpet fit this Fox very warmly.

Masala choices

After a short-lived run as Badyals (complete with misguided World-on-a-plate external graphics which made it look like it must be a travel agent) the tired exterior of the former Bengal Tiger has been stripped back to reveal the original exterior tiling of the Nelson Hotel. Following successive failed experiments now at operating a successful Indian restaurant on this corner (and with Montague Street's other pub building currently laying empty) I'd imagine that there's a plot twist in store in the next chapter of the landmark. 

Which is good news for tiny upstart My Masala, who popped up unexpectedly not far along City Road last year, in the narrow terrace next door to the wondrous Wayside Inn. Peering through the window it really does look like this is a restaurant of just four tables; although in reality there is a second, even more bijou, room behind. However some tasteful decorative touches manage to make the modest little restaurant welcoming once you step past the vivid livery.

Hail to the chief

Not everyone's idea of a great pub is the same. That much is evident comparing the Herald Sun's recent list of Melbourne's Top 25 Pubs with the corresponding list from a popular cheeky cheapskate's web-site. The Happiest Hour's (deservedly) #1 pub doesn't even feature on the paper's list. However the two lists agree on one thing; that the Maori Chief is a South Melbourne treasure.

There's no point attempting to deny that the majority of Melbourne's best pubs are North of the Yarra, however there are also honourable mentions on one list or other for the nearby Palace, Wayside Inn, Railway Club Hotel and Middle Park Hotel. However it is the Kiwi Mecca at the intersection of York and Moray Streets that garners respect from both perspectives.

Live'n'local

Continuing a run of live music events to start the new year, Bay Street today provided an outpost for St Kilda Festival week, with afternoon performances at the Prince Alfred, The Local, The Exchange and seven:am.

It may just have been the diminutive New York themed stage at the Exchange, but 4 Letter Lies seemed to have fibbed about the number of members in their band. Not that that overly hampered their delivery of a polished set.

On Friday it's the turn of South Melbourne to host a series of Live'n'Local gigs, before the main act takes over vast swathes of St Kilda next Sunday.

Railway Hotel

Not to be mistaken for Port Melbourne's Railway Club Hotel, the Railway Hotel is one of a string of really rather good pubs on the Southern side of Ferrars Street. Its impressive beer selection is on a par with the nearby Palace, Wayside or O'Connell's hotels, yet this 1850's inn real ace is a unique charm that can't be bought in.

For starters it's a bit of labyrinth, with front and back bars, open fire, pool table and pinball, non-invasive dining area and function room, and a surprising beer garden tucked behind the neighbouring house. The décor, around the long snaking bar, is fabulously old school with a mixture of art deco features, pressed metal and linoleum all old enough to have become cool again. Out front a sign proudly proclaims it a pokie-free zone.

Renamed after Melbourne's second train line (now the 96 tram route) opposite, the pub originally licensed as The Napoleon Third, manages to be both a good honest boozer and an appealing place for the residents of the affluent Albert Park and South Melbourne streets nearby.

Happy butt sniffing

The Palace Hotel, just one block from the North Eastern boundary between South and Port Melbourne, has been through more than its fair share of incarnations its 139 year history. In recent years of course it's gone from (Luke Mangan's) Palace Hotel, briefly to SoHo and back, but it was originally built as Meagher's Hotel and has also been known as the Partner’s Tavern and, my personal favourite, the Pickled Pig Hotel.

Given its recent history, as a restaurant in pub clothing, it seems quite audacious for Jess, Pratty and Dan, the latest operators, to reverse the general trend and attempt to fashion an old-school local pub from the space. It's a certainly a transformation seeing beer trays, a pool table and particularly a Staffordshire Bull Terrier, where there used to be crisp white table clothes. They're justifiably proud to be free of TAB and loud music, and of the rarest of pub assets ... a leafy (and now mutt welcoming) garden.

The beer loving inhabitants of Port Melbourne can save their legs, as the range and enthusiasm for craft beers here is at least as great as at the nearby Wayside Inn and O'Connells. The only downside that I can see is that the huddle of stools round the bar, favoured by regulars, creates a bit of a barrier to ordering that passing trade may find off putting.

Beers on tap: Carlton, Trumer Pils, Stone & Wood Pacific Ale, 3 Ravens Pale Ale, Bridge Port IPA, Mountain Goat IPA, Hargreaves Hill ESB, Moo Brew Dark Ale
Wine range: $9.50 - $11
Parma: Yes ($12 on Mondays)
Gastro: No and proud of it
Tradie vs Yuppy: Deliberately an all-comers kind of place

Centenary upgrade

Back in the day, patrons of the former Nelson Hotel didn't have far to stumble for their next ale. Heading 200m North they'd find the (Golden) Fleece, 200m West Meagher's (much renamed) hotel or 200m East the Wayside Inn. However what's not obvious, as you stand at the intersection of Montague Street and City Road, is that the closest hostelry lies in wait to the South.

Were it not for its famous alternating fireplace/parasol advertising hoarding on Ferrars Street, O'Connell's Centenary Hotel would be an even better secret. News of refurbishment of the traditional-yet-classy pub had many worried that the sleepy residential side-street pub's comforting charm would be lost in the process. However whilst black has replaced the vintage green palette, this is still unmistakably O'Connells. And whilst the up-market restaurant is now more clearly separated from the bar, the layout is basically unchanged.

What has changed however is the beer selection; there really is something for everyone, spread impressively across twelve different taps. Given that the nearby Wayside Inn was (worthily) crowned 3AW Pub of the Year, it's hard not to conclude that O'Connell's now has everything it's got ... and then some. The food is damn fine and the drinks selection adventurous, but then there's the peaceful outdoor seating and the warm inviting local's feel inside too.

Beers on tap: Carlton, Cascade Light, Asahi, Stella Artois, Guinness, Hawthorn Pale Ale, 4 Pines Kolsch, Moo Brew Pilsner, Hargreaves Hill ESB, 2 Brothers Grizz
Wine range: $8 - $14
Parma: $24 (although not described as such)
Gastro: Yes
Tradie vs Yuppy: Tradies not explicitly catered for, but not explicitly excluded either

Uniathalon

A brisk Southerly wind made for choppier conditions, and fewer sunbathing spectators, than last year's Port to Park swim. This annual event, organised by South Melbourne Life Saving club, is an epic 1100m open water swim parallel with the beach between Lagoon and Kerferd piers.

Despite the challenging conditions, there was still a strong turnout and, to the relief of the budgie smuggling minority at least, at 21.5c, the water temperature was slightly warmer than the air. This picture shows the 40+ male groups wading out to the starting buoy.

Clarice Road

As desperately antiquated sources of community information go, the town's mustard yellow Civic Guides are, right now, blisteringly up-to-date. Well insofar as the advertisers of "local services" appear to all still be trading anyway. It's a little hard to be sure of this point as half of them are from South Melbourne, the reach of the map having been extended accordingly. It's a somewhat amusing indication of the update interval of these "guides" that Bank of Melbourne can have died, gone to heaven, and been resurrected since its appearance on the previous incarnation.

Still, it's a whole lot better than this guide to Port Melbourne which, aside from containing the kind of overtly flattering language that the business association likes to peddle, contains a list of what appear to be phantom restaurants. I can't say for definite that the Komeyui Japanese restaurant on Bay Street (which was for a long time prior a French restaurant) never traded as Amber Indian Restaurant. However I am confident that we've never had a Clarice Road Sandwich Bar, largely as we don't have a Clarice Road ... on this matter the Civic Guides and I agree.

Igloo recycling

This time of year tends to present something of a logistical challenge for the wheelie bin. So it's worth remembering that polystyrene packaging, probably the biggest gobbler of bin space of them all, can be recycled for free at the local tip.

 

Of course, it isn't called the tip, it's called the Port Phillip Resource Recovery Centre, having been rebranded almost as many times as most office "wages" departments. Also recoverable are:

South of H

The Palace was one of a glut of local pubs that changed hands recently including The London (and, having won its pokie license, the Bay & Bridge is hoping to follow suit). Ironically, since it was once called the Port Melbourne Hotel, it has now been reborn as the South Melbourne Hotel or, if you really must, the SoHo.

The Buddha on the bar gives a clear insight into the new direction of the establishment. The menu has gone mod-Asian under the helm of head chef Kim Moore (formerly of MoVida and Seamstress). Whether or not it is up to the standards of the CBD big names remains to be seen.

As a pub, this is a Lion Nathan outfit as far as the taps go, although the bottled beer selection reflects the menu. The bar is largely unchanged, but there is now a little more seating that helps make it feel less like a waiting room for the restaurant.

Beers on tap: Boags Draught, XXXX Gold, Kosciuszko Pale, Kirin, Stella Artois, Hoegarden
Wine range: $9.50 - $11
Parma: No
Gastro: Yes
Tradie vs Yuppy: Taking itself pretty seriously

Bengal Tiger

Until late last year the former Nelson Hotel in South Melbourne provided the closest source of authentic Indian food for most Port Melburnians. The distinctively burgundy Bengal Tiger is hard to miss, sat as it is overlooking the busy intersection of City Road and Montague Street, just a block in between the Wayside Inn and The Palace.

Despite an incredibly high profile location, the Tiger always seemed to struggle to entice enough people to fill its many tables. For many, the slightly tired exterior hinted at a similar ambience indoors; which was unfortunate although the split room arrangement could be a bit chilly and meant that the waiter was often in the other room when you wanted him. Now however the corner entrance has been reinstated and opens into the, now cosy, main dining area.

Although at first slightly daunting, it is in fact not difficult to find places to park near the Bengal Tiger and there are tram stops on both the 96 and 109 within easy walking distance. Now's a good time to give it another go as the staff are fresh and eager to please, as is the food.

Falling by

The Wayside Inn shares the Fleece's achilles heel of a sub optimal location, perched as it is at the intersection of City Road and Ferrars Street, with no other hostelries of note nearby.

However the similarities end there as the Wayside is an altogether more invigorating proposition, with more friendly staff, a more earthy interior, and a triangular beer garden tucked cleverly on the quieter side of Ferrars Street. And opening either the food or drink menu reveals an unexpected and exciting array of options that put most of Port's pubs to shame.

This is definitely a pub that justifies the inevitable trek to get to it (it is actually close to a tram stop (City Road) - but that's on the 96 route). The beer selection alone is outstanding, although the giant chalk board map of Victorian breweries on one wall has yet to be updated to show Matilda Bay as being just round the corner.

Beers on tap: Carlton Draught, 4Pines Kolsch, Cavalier Pale Ale, Stone & Wood Jasper Ale, Mclaren Vale Ale, Trumer Pils
Wine range: $7 - $11
Parma: No but you won't be disappointed by the burger
Gastro: Yes
Tradie vs Yuppy: Menu screams yuppy, but bar is relaxed

Block heads

For months, hardly anyone batted an eye-lid at the scaffolding, and occasional film crews, outside the block of four terraced houses on nearby Dorcas Street. However, to the delight I'm sure of the neighbours, thanks to Channel 9's cunning reality/property development hybrid show, it appears to be the current pointless place to have your photo taken.

If you do feel compelled to gawp at the finished houses, you can already see 401, 403, 405 and 407 on-line as they're up for auction at the end of the month, and here's what they looked like before the circus came to town.

Ungolden

The Fleece, with its thirsty manequin, lies on the corner of Buckhurst Street and manic Montague Street. Buckhurst Street is the continuation of Bay Street (on the South Melbourne side of Ingles Street) so, like The Palace, this pub is much closer to the heart of Port Melbourne than its postal code would suggest.

The loss of the Golden prefix (and Hotel suffix) is an indication of the wholesale eradication of anything remotely traditional in this 'bar/restaurant', and they seem to have been early adopters of the current trend for splashes of lurid lime green. This is a flashy pub sat in a not particularly flashy location.

Unfortunately any hint of old fashioned charm has gone out the window too with the manager being, in my experience, a uniquely grumpy character. They also have an application underway to install 25 gaming machines. On the plus side, the food is meant to be good, there is a deck upstairs, and the pictures in the toilets are genuinely amusing.

Beers on tap: Carlton Draught, Cascade Light, Pure Blonde, Asahi, Fat Yak
Wine range: $7.00 - $8.50
Parma: No
Gastro: Yes
Tradie vs Yuppy: Yuppy all the way

The Palace

Laying, as it does, on the Eastern side of Pickles Street, The Palace is technically a South Melbourne pub. However with half its windows looking straight down Crockford Street, this is much closer to the heart of Port Melbourne and makes for a great start for an up-market bar crawl; with the Sloaney Pony, Prince Alfred and Rose Diner just minutes apart from each other (and you could easily incorporate the Swallows, Albion and Railway Club for good measure).

Seemingly no longer Luke Mangan's palace, this pub is still very focussed on food, with a menu in the same price territory as The Graham. Consequently the bar area is more a place to wait for a table than a relaxing place for drink, however this palace has an ace up its sleeve in the form of an almost palatial courtyard to the side.

It's a similar size to the Cricketers Arms' courtyard, but is greener and is one of the few pubs around here that catches the evening sun.

Beers on tap: Carlton Draught, Pure Blonde, Fat Yak, Asahi, Kronenburg
Wine range: $8 - $16
Parma: Yes, but they don't use that word
Gastro: Yes
Tradie vs Yuppy: No tradie's gonna feel at home here

Indian Mirchi

The balance between Port Melb and neighbouring suburbs when it comes to spicy food options has recently gotten even worse as yet another Indian Restaurant has opened in South Melbourne. The owner of Indian Mirchi on Clarendon Street apparently also plans a branch in docklands (another area with alreay existing competition).

When will some entreupenial type notice the huge gap in this market on Bay Street?