The brave new colony

It's been a while coming, but finally the doors of Port Melbourne's very own brewery have been reopened to the public. Just like their Bertie Street predecessors, the Colonial Brewing Company started life over in WA, but unlike Matilda Bay they're still an independent brewer with deep roots back in the Margaret River.

With poor old Matilda suffering the ultimate "craft" indignity of relegation to just one of CUB's messy marketing tools, it's encouraging to see the place in fresh hands. They threw a house-warming party to coincide with the start of Good Beer Week, and are aiming to open their bar every Friday night thereafter. I really hope we start to see some of their exiting new beers in our local bars and restaurants the rest of the week. Under the stewardship of the parent Colonial Leisure Group, you can at the very least expect to see their (not at all) Small Ale nearby at the Albert Park Hotel and Lamaro's in South Melbourne.

Vincent on vincent

To be honest I was never a fan of the bar at the Hotel Nest, as hoards of over-dressed 'beautiful people' seemed helplessly drawn to its overt bling. Which is why it's taken me so long to get round to trying the latest incarnation of the grand hotel which started life as the Windsor Hotel, but now takes its name from the avenue upon which it proudly sits.

However this venue is now run by the same company as the more diminutive Wayside Inn, and it shows in the fantastic array of beer taps, which would not be out of place in Gertrude Street. However Albert Park is very obviously not Fitzroy, and the restaurant that takes up the bulk of the ground floor is in The Graham's price territory. Which is a boon to those happy to eat without white linen, as bar food is excellent.

As supposedly Scott Cam's favourite pub, it's perhaps no surprise that the upstairs featured in the South Melbourne centric TV phenomenon The Block. Downstairs meanwhile is awash with mosaics and marble with only the boxy side room to the bar feeling a bit like the poor cousin. With a near daily happy hour this if without doubt my favourite Albert Park pub.

Beers on tap: Carlton, Peroni, Trumer Pils, Mountain Goat Steam Ale, Two Birds Golden Ale, 2 Brothers Grizz, 4 Pines Pale Ale, Brookes APA, Hawkers IPA & Tooboorac Blacksmith!!
Wine range: $7.00 - $12.00
Happy hour: 5-7pm Tue to Fri
Parma: No
Gastro: Yes
Tradie vs Yuppy: Definitely no hi-vis in here

Harry Truman

The intersection of Kerferd Road and Montague Street might not sound like the most peaceful spot to sip on a soy latte, yet by the weekend the triangle outside Albert Park's presidential answer to the Harold Holt cafe is surprisingly calm. Inside Truman is a different matter though, with a veritable army of hipster wait staff carrying intriguing plates, under the watchful eye of an even bigger army of plastic soldiers marching across the ceiling.

The World War reference makes more sense than the pineapple kitsch or teaspoon collection, though the odd assortment of curios makes for a pleasant ambience for the new owners of The Block apartments around the corner, as they wait for their order. Which is handy because the wait can be noticeable, with what feels like all food being cooked by a single stressed chef.

However it is worth the wait. This halloumi breakie squeezes an autumnal pumpkin and leek smash between poached eggs and multi-grain sourdough, and then adds kale pesto, sesame seeds and pumpkin seeds on top for added textural and taste interest. These are just the sort of imaginative dishes that give you a warm feeling about living in these parts, and deciding to venture out for brunch.

Blue bike highway

The blue bike station at the end of Kerferd Road has been relocated, beach side, alongside the rather excellent Plum Garland memorial playground and volleyball nets, as part of the much anticipated St Kilda extension of the indomitable Melbourne Bikeshare scheme.

Two further outposts at the end of Fitzroy Street and outside the Palais Theatre create a much needed alternative solution to the problem of getting between Port Melbourne and St Kilda by public transport. For $2.80 you can make unlimited trips of up to half an hour, now with courtesy helmets. And just in time for this year's St Kilda Festival too.

A block from the beach

Anyone wondering why there's been so many glimpses of Bay Street on the new season of the The Block need only peer round the corner onto Rouse Street. This nondescript commercial property, currently still listed on the business association's web-site as home to Think Sustainable Print, is actually where many of the DIY challenges have been performed.

With three of the last four series using properties within a kilometre radius of South Melbourne (the latest conversion, of a tall building described variously as a former factory, cinema or church, is on O'Grady Street in Albert Park), it comes as no surprise to learn that the executive producer lives nearby. Probably on a different street though, given the unwieldy volume of spectators the show seems to inflict upon disgruntled neighbours.

Pier to pier

Conditions for this year's Port to Park Swim could hardly have been better. The water was warm and calm as a total of 259 open water swimmers completed the 1.1km course between Lagoon and Kerferd piers.

The fastest time was just under 12 minutes (5.5kph), which includes the leg muscle testing final sprint across the beach at Albert Park.

Open top bus

Considering that in a week's time we will play host to the first of over sixty cruise ship arrivals this summer, those of us away from Station Pier rarely see an identifiable tourist. So the thrice daily arrival of a bright (and typically empty) red bus down Bay Street, with commentary on the former court house blaring from its open roof top, comes as a bit of surprise. However the inclusion of a liner in the livery gives a hint as to the perceived attraction of passing through Port Melbourne.

The St Kilda/South Melbourne Tour is a recent value add to City Sightseeing's hop on/off city tour. Although, at $35 a day it's a ticket in desperate need of value given that the main city loop follows a very similar route to the long running Melbourne Visitor Shuttle bus which costs a mere $5 a day.

For any tourists that might stumble across this page, may I suggest you save yourself some money (and have rather more of a flexible adventure) as follows...

Tram raiders

Only a few weeks after a drunk driver survived broad-siding the 109 tram, at the Bridge Street crossing, another driver was this morning tragically less fortunate after reportedly driving at speed into the number 1 tram, as it sat stationary at the end of Victoria Avenue.

The shocking news photos underscore Yarra Trams' much publicised, and otherwise quite effective, Beware the Rhino safety campaign.

Uniathalon

A brisk Southerly wind made for choppier conditions, and fewer sunbathing spectators, than last year's Port to Park swim. This annual event, organised by South Melbourne Life Saving club, is an epic 1100m open water swim parallel with the beach between Lagoon and Kerferd piers.

Despite the challenging conditions, there was still a strong turnout and, to the relief of the budgie smuggling minority at least, at 21.5c, the water temperature was slightly warmer than the air. This picture shows the 40+ male groups wading out to the starting buoy.

Priscilla Jones

I've always had a soft spot for the cafe at the Gasworks. It was run by a cheerful, if slightly dizzy, couple and the food was reliable. However service was never their strongest point. Now, it's changed hands and been renamed as Priscilla Jones, yet some things remain remarkably familiar.

Despite the warren of shiny townhouses that now lay out front, this is still a very peaceful spot (well, except when the farmer's market is on that is). If you like Hot Honey in Middle Park, you won't be disappointed, as one of the new partners hails from there. Accordingly the menu is more sophisticated now, and yet manages to add fresh appeal to the needs of both parents and dog owners, and the coffee is now in the same league as Bay Street's best. However it's not just the furniture that is unchanged from the previous incarnation, unfortunately (based on two visits so far), the service still bears that dizzy trademark.

Maverick kangeroo

Nothing divides opinion in Melbourne quite like the Grand Prix. Support amongst the residents of the suburbs within earshot of Albert Park is hardly promoted by racing starting at 7:20am ... on a sodding Sunday. On the other hand we do get a good vantage point from which to view the aerial contribution to the annual orgy of fossil fuel waste.

In previous years, having the Qantas fly-past follow the ear-drum stretching F/A-18 display has only made the flying kangeroo look like a lumbering whale lamely attempting to mimic the nimble hornet. However either the operating limits of the Boeing 747 have been expanded, or this year's pilot fancied himself as a modern day Maverick, as the beast skimmed a tight turn past the HM@S Lonsdale towers and then pulled this manoeuvre directly over the top of the Spirit of Tasmania.

Not so liveable?

Port Melbourne performs surprisingly poorly in The Age's new ranking of Melbourne's 314 suburb's "liveability", coming in at 132nd place. Despite being very well appointed in the criteria of coastline, proximity to the CBD, and eating out, it would appear that Chadstone is a better place to live. Really. Interestingly our neighbours faired rather better:

#29 Albert Park
#39 St Kilda
#47 South Melbourne
#61 Middle Park

The lacklustre performance is perhaps explained by the large area deemed to be covered by the suburb, which includes all of the, distinctly less liveable, industrial area North of the Williamstown Road...

The scores in each of the 14 categories appear to be as below. No surprise that we don't get marks for undulating terrain, harder to understand however how we score higher on trains than trams:

Meeting farmer Giles

How great is the farmer's market? Judging by the number of folk walking around with bunches of organic rhubarb, there can't be many Port Melbourne folk who aren't aware of this monthly wonder. Talking to the stall holders, it seems this is the biggest and busiest market on their circuit.

In case there is anyone who has somehow missed it since it started five years ago, the market is held on the third Saturday morning of each month. The quality of fresh produce is way above what you'll find in Coles and typically cheaper too. It's not all healthy produce either, there's cakes and beer to keep the rest of us happy, just remember to bring your own bags. You can even combine it with brunch at the Gas Works cafe (which currently has an interesting set of photos showing the history of this part of town, including the great explosion of 1920).

Gas Works Cafe

Ninety years ago the gasworks were the site of probably Port Melb's most dramatic event. Now the site is an oasis of culture in a town crowded with 'designer lifestyle apartments'.

It's a mystery to me why the cafe here isn't busier. It is housed in an interesting building, well placed for both Port Melburnians and Albert Parkites, has easy parking, and the cheerful staff serve up decent food and coffee whilst you admire the artwork and greenery of the park.