En Garde

Port Melbourne is hardly famed for its farmyard animals, so the sight of a portly chicken freely wandering the pavements of Rouse Street must surely raise many a neatly plucked eyebrow.

Although this hen actually seems convinced that it's a guard dog, as it barks a warning to passers by of what is presumably its home. Along with the private fish market next door, this is a delightfully nostalgic corner of town.

TruGo or not Trugo

They may have cost thirty grand, but this year's festive silhouettes continue a creative trend unseen in Melbourne's other inner suburbs, this time playing on familiar local sights, including the quirky sport of Trugo quietly practiced in two locations within our borders.

My personal favourite is the One Oh Nine on the window of Vogue Avenue, however the greatest concentration of feature displays lies within the Thomas Dux section of town. Take a peek below the fold if you can't (or can't be bothered to) find them all.

Happy butt sniffing

The Palace Hotel, just one block from the North Eastern boundary between South and Port Melbourne, has been through more than its fair share of incarnations its 139 year history. In recent years of course it's gone from (Luke Mangan's) Palace Hotel, briefly to SoHo and back, but it was originally built as Meagher's Hotel and has also been known as the Partner’s Tavern and, my personal favourite, the Pickled Pig Hotel.

Given its recent history, as a restaurant in pub clothing, it seems quite audacious for Jess, Pratty and Dan, the latest operators, to reverse the general trend and attempt to fashion an old-school local pub from the space. It's a certainly a transformation seeing beer trays, a pool table and particularly a Staffordshire Bull Terrier, where there used to be crisp white table clothes. They're justifiably proud to be free of TAB and loud music, and of the rarest of pub assets ... a leafy (and now mutt welcoming) garden.

The beer loving inhabitants of Port Melbourne can save their legs, as the range and enthusiasm for craft beers here is at least as great as at the nearby Wayside Inn and O'Connells. The only downside that I can see is that the huddle of stools round the bar, favoured by regulars, creates a bit of a barrier to ordering that passing trade may find off putting.

Beers on tap: Carlton, Trumer Pils, Stone & Wood Pacific Ale, 3 Ravens Pale Ale, Bridge Port IPA, Mountain Goat IPA, Hargreaves Hill ESB, Moo Brew Dark Ale
Wine range: $9.50 - $11
Parma: Yes ($12 on Mondays)
Gastro: No and proud of it
Tradie vs Yuppy: Deliberately an all-comers kind of place

Priscilla Jones

I've always had a soft spot for the cafe at the Gasworks. It was run by a cheerful, if slightly dizzy, couple and the food was reliable. However service was never their strongest point. Now, it's changed hands and been renamed as Priscilla Jones, yet some things remain remarkably familiar.

Despite the warren of shiny townhouses that now lay out front, this is still a very peaceful spot (well, except when the farmer's market is on that is). If you like Hot Honey in Middle Park, you won't be disappointed, as one of the new partners hails from there. Accordingly the menu is more sophisticated now, and yet manages to add fresh appeal to the needs of both parents and dog owners, and the coffee is now in the same league as Bay Street's best. However it's not just the furniture that is unchanged from the previous incarnation, unfortunately (based on two visits so far), the service still bears that dizzy trademark.

The Palace

Laying, as it does, on the Eastern side of Pickles Street, The Palace is technically a South Melbourne pub. However with half its windows looking straight down Crockford Street, this is much closer to the heart of Port Melbourne and makes for a great start for an up-market bar crawl; with the Sloaney Pony, Prince Alfred and Rose Diner just minutes apart from each other (and you could easily incorporate the Swallows, Albion and Railway Club for good measure).

Seemingly no longer Luke Mangan's palace, this pub is still very focussed on food, with a menu in the same price territory as The Graham. Consequently the bar area is more a place to wait for a table than a relaxing place for drink, however this palace has an ace up its sleeve in the form of an almost palatial courtyard to the side.

It's a similar size to the Cricketers Arms' courtyard, but is greener and is one of the few pubs around here that catches the evening sun.

Beers on tap: Carlton Draught, Pure Blonde, Fat Yak, Asahi, Kronenburg
Wine range: $8 - $16
Parma: Yes, but they don't use that word
Gastro: Yes
Tradie vs Yuppy: No tradie's gonna feel at home here

Cat Food

A peculiar feature of the original Spencer's Guide was a, wholly unscientific, comparison of local supermarkets ... based on their cat-food pricing. Port Melbourne is not lacking in chain grocery stores, and here is how they currently stack-up when it comes to stocking-up on Whiskas:

Coles (6am - midnight)
$1.00 (special offer)

IGA (6:30am - midnight)
$1.49 (special offer)

Thomas Dux (7:30am - 9pm)
$2.50

7-Eleven (24 hour)
$2.75