Gluten-free organic paleo palace

It's hard to fathom, given the combination of premium pricing and willing customers how Woolies can have failed to turned a profit from their Thomas Dux store here. But with money haemorrhaging from their DIY chain, they controversially closed our store a couple of months back.

That may have made good financial sense in the short term, but in the process they've allowed Sydney based up-start About Life to slide in to the, now established, market. Initial impressions are that "Nature's Providore" are more willing to go the whole hog with the whole gourmet grocer concept and capitalise on demand, particularly amongst high disposable incomer earners, for organic and holistic products. And they've somehow managed to find space too for a café and array of bain-maries offering tempting looking ready-cooked dishes, and salads to rival the Foxes Den across the road.

Turning tide?

Could it be that the vanity tide is finally turning? For a while it seemed that every change of Bay Street business brought with it yet another hair salon or beauty parlour. But the peak of that trend may have passed last year with Belvga taking over from the Secret Stylist.

Continuing the local love affair with pun-based business names, Thyme for Living has moved its boutique homewares and gifts into the almost opposite store, previously occupied by Body Bronze.

Puntastic

For a long time Bay Street neighbours Mane Attraction and Murphy's Paw had cornered the market for local pun-based business names. Whilst at the other end of town Rex Hunt's D'Lish Fish has long opted instead for cacography to welcome Tasmanians to our state. However relative newcomer Skewer'd has followed this unnecessary abbreviation precedent, and now Simple Affair has morphed into Brew'd Awakening, which manages to combine both techniques.

The worst language offender by far though would have to have been the frankly appalling "Gorjuss" hair salon. So my inner spelling snob was quietly relieved when they were promptly replaced by Laiba's (whose letters you certainly wouldn't want to misorder). But that relief proved short-lived as, with the invasion of coiffeurs showing no sign whatsoever of abating, just two doors down, this cringe inducing specimen appeared.

Beluga

It's a brave person that attempts to bring a grilled fish & posh salad business model to the original home of Hunky Dory. Evidently Belvga with a 'U', who already operate a store in South Yarra, hopes to entice some hunky (and Old Salt) custom their way.

Although their shop frontage, in the base of the 101 complex, is wider than HD's, their outdoor table space is no bigger and, crucially at this time of year, doesn't boast outdoor heating. However for traditional sea-side fish & chips lovers they do benefit from being that much closer to the beach.

For the moment at least, the ambience in the spacious interior is quiet, which should tempt those nearby apartment dwellers that are happy to avoid frenetic queues. And when they do they'll find that the quality and freshness is very similar to the more famous counterpart.

On Spice Street

After teasing us for months with just a sign in the window, Spice Av. is now open to traffic. Providing welcome competition for Khansama at the other end of Bay Street, the colourfully decorated establishment is run by veteran Indian restauranteur Sarita Rahal.

Whilst a selection of traditional favourites can be found on (the "Memory Lane" section of) the relatively short menu, each offered with rice or naan, emphasis is given to four contemporary dishes evolved from those classics. Barramundi is offered with sweet potato and elsewhere a quinoa salad accompaniment can be found.

Domino effect

Port Melbourne's post office moved from the building opposite the Exchange Hotel around 1910, just in time for the beginning of the reign of King George, as signified upon its Palladian gabled front. I wouldn't have thought there was much sadder fate for such significant heritage building, than to be lying forlornly empty for years. That is until I saw the eventual replacement for Bay Street's sorely missed Readings bookstore.

For a supposedly health-obsessed suburb, Port Melbourne already has a plentiful supply of pizza vendors, so the garish arrival of the world's biggest pizza chain is ... a disappointment. It's a great pity that the inventive pattern of reuse set by Corte couldn't have been followed here. I had my hopes set on some Latin spark establishing Port Melbourne's first taqueria. Instead we just have mopeds cluttering the pavement and a yawn-worthy menu of cheese overload.

Urban urchins

Port (and South) Melbourne received the attention of the RACV last month, courtesy of their magazine's regular feature on urban wedges to explore. "A pocket of Melbourne between the city and the bay that never dates" is the preamble into a colourful sprinkling of some of the neighbouring suburb's well known (to locals) gems, that thankfully avoids repeating the "heart of wellness" slogan.

According to the 2011 census, the under 15's make up only 12.4% of the Port Melbourne population (versus 19.3% nationally). Nevertheless, another dominant retail area seems to be emerging to join the hair salons, nail bars and bike shops on Bay Street, with Little Urban now joining the likes of Buckets & Spades, Junior Republic, Tiny Polkadots and Cotton on Kids. Hopefully the parents are a little friendlier to the staff than they are to parking officers.

Room 101

Having done their part in the ritual humiliation of the English soccer team, Italy themselves bowed out of the World Cup ... with a little help from Mick Jagger. Which must've hurt, at least as much as a shoulder bite, at number one hundred and one Bay Street where, everywhere you look, there's reminders of the heritage of Port Melbourne's latest in a long line of pizza parlours.

Despite The London's rather excellent transition to Middle Eastern cuisine, there's still a lot of local competition in the melted mozzarella stakes. Fortunately the pizza at Bay 101, though not wood-fired, is undeniably authentic; the thin, yet airy, dough up there even with the recently opened Albert Park branch of legendary D.O.C. And their cheeses are far from one-dimensional either with tallegio, provola, asiago and fontina all on offer alongside a similarly authentic range of cured meats.

The wall of customer graffiti has now gone, replaced by black and white images of Vespas, supplanted by shelves filled with San Marzano tomatoes and extra virgin olive oil, and seemingly exclusively Italian wait staff. And along with the superb patisserie counter at Noisette opposite, their chilled display unit makes the beach end of Bay Street resemble a certain cake-laden stretch of St Kilda. However, despite the tempting delights, it's hard to resist the call of the huge tubs of Nutella used to make their delicious sweet Calzoncino

State route 30

It is now possible, thanks to Google's recent addition of historical imagery to their Street View, to step back in time and see how Bay Street (aka State Route 30) has evolved since 2007. Though not as dramatic as this scene from WA, the change in sky-line resulting from the Bianca complex is pretty stark.

The time lapse shows the gradual replacement of cafes like Bay Treat Cafe, the Fergusson Plarre Bakehouse and Tallship Cafe with today's coffee heavyweights. It also a reminder of some of the chains that decided to move on from this suburb; like Pepe Jeans, Readings and Urban Burger. But it's the colourfully named independent stores like Fat Zap, Shoe Fetish, Boils and Kinki Koko I think I miss the most.

Imbibed

The other new wine bar to open on Bay Street is quite a different character to Harry & Frankie. For starters it's taking an original approach to dining, inviting customers to order in take-away from a venue of their choice, to enjoy with their wine (and providing some suggestions from Japanese restaurant Komeyui across the way).

The layout of Imbibe is still that of the original multi-room dwelling, which makes the front room bar area feel a little pokey, but then offers quite a surprise in the upstairs bathroom.

The wine list is no longer than many a pub, which does make you wonder what the incentive to try here is, rather than say the Prince Alfred next door. However when it comes to wine, quality trumps quantity, and this place will appeal to those who prefer the more refined ambience of a traditional wine bar or who appreciate the ethic of exclusively Victorian produce.

Beers on tap: None (but a reasonable array of bottled Victorian beers)
Wine range: Glasses $9 - $13
Parma: If you can find someone to deliver one!
Gastro: Not as yet
Tradie vs Yuppy: It's a bloody wine bar ;-)

Live'n'local

Continuing a run of live music events to start the new year, Bay Street today provided an outpost for St Kilda Festival week, with afternoon performances at the Prince Alfred, The Local, The Exchange and seven:am.

It may just have been the diminutive New York themed stage at the Exchange, but 4 Letter Lies seemed to have fibbed about the number of members in their band. Not that that overly hampered their delivery of a polished set.

On Friday it's the turn of South Melbourne to host a series of Live'n'Local gigs, before the main act takes over vast swathes of St Kilda next Sunday.

When Harry met Frankie

Despite being blessed by fifteen operating pubs, it seems that there's still room in Port Melbourne for some more bars, toward the sophisticated end of the spectrum. For a long time The Graham had a bit of a monopoly on the wine-bar market, but the continued success of Corte (and the Rose Diner's upstairs wine bar) has heralded the arrival of two further Bay Street drinking dens.

First to open is Harry & Frankie which has ingeniously fashioned a cork lined cellar into the space previously occupied by a marketing merchandise company. The concept here is of a quality wine store (their online shop offers some 549 varieties) where, for an additional $15, you can sit and enjoy the bottle of your choice, served in a glass style suited to the variety. The atmosphere is exceedingly civilised, with enthusiastic and knowledgeable staff, and they also offer wine by the glass/carafe as well as a good range of craft beers and ciders. I predict it will do well.

Beers on tap: Weiphenstephaner Pilsener, Stone & Wood Pacific Ale, Mountain Goat IPA
Wine range: Glasses $7 - $17, Bottles $19 - $372(!)
Parma: No, but they do offer cheese, olives, salami, salumi and "grand cru" toasties
Gastro: The main course here definitely comes in liquid form
Tradie vs Yuppy: It's a bloody wine bar ;-)

TruGo or not Trugo

They may have cost thirty grand, but this year's festive silhouettes continue a creative trend unseen in Melbourne's other inner suburbs, this time playing on familiar local sights, including the quirky sport of Trugo quietly practiced in two locations within our borders.

My personal favourite is the One Oh Nine on the window of Vogue Avenue, however the greatest concentration of feature displays lies within the Thomas Dux section of town. Take a peek below the fold if you can't (or can't be bothered to) find them all.

Then and now

The National Library of Australia's Trove facility is a great resource for anyone fancying a little casual research for history week. For example a quick search reveals an interesting pair of images, showing a wide and empty Bay Street, that are freely reproducible.

This one, looking toward what is now Coles, shows the old Port Melbourne Theatre (not to be confused with the Hoyts Eclipse Theatre where 7-Eleven now stands) on the left, whose structure now houses both the Telstra store and Simple Affair...

The theatre was built on the site of the Fire Brigade Hotel (so named presumably as a result of the Fire Station opposite it on Liardet Street), which in turn originally started off life as the Foundry Hotel. The proximity of the fire station came in handy when fire erupted there in 1924. It eventually closed its doors in 1952 and was converted into a battery factory.

Open top bus

Considering that in a week's time we will play host to the first of over sixty cruise ship arrivals this summer, those of us away from Station Pier rarely see an identifiable tourist. So the thrice daily arrival of a bright (and typically empty) red bus down Bay Street, with commentary on the former court house blaring from its open roof top, comes as a bit of surprise. However the inclusion of a liner in the livery gives a hint as to the perceived attraction of passing through Port Melbourne.

The St Kilda/South Melbourne Tour is a recent value add to City Sightseeing's hop on/off city tour. Although, at $35 a day it's a ticket in desperate need of value given that the main city loop follows a very similar route to the long running Melbourne Visitor Shuttle bus which costs a mere $5 a day.

For any tourists that might stumble across this page, may I suggest you save yourself some money (and have rather more of a flexible adventure) as follows...

Round the Bay (St)

Following on from this year's Bikefest, Port Melbourne once again provided (fleeting) hospitality to over 14,000 bicyclists (and unicyclists) today, with every one of the numerous routes for this year's mammoth Around the Bay charity ride passing through.

Although most people won't have witnessed the initial blur of Lycra; with start times for the full circuits of the bay kicking off before dawn. Not even Bay Street's three bike shops were open at that time.

A strong North-Westerly wind added to the challenge, and brought with it temperatures in the high twenties. Apparently the event passed off well, although one rider was injured on the opposite side of the bay. At the time of writing, just under a million dollars had been raised for The Smith Family.

Mask of Zambrero

No sooner had the Sri Sri experiment in, youthfully presented, flavoursome fast food fallen flat on its face, than another popped up a few doors down. Zambrero is one of a bunch of fast food franchises currently riding the wave of enthusiasm for Mexican food.

If you're familiar with the likes of Salsas, Mad Mex and Guzman y Gomez in the CBD, then you'll already have a pretty good idea of what to expect. Although you may be surprised to learn that nationally Zambrero is actually the biggest of the bunch, with the Port Melbourne branch being part of a new expansion into Victoria.

It's certainly a welcome addition to the Bay Street dinner selection although for me their burritos, whilst satisfyingly chubby, need plenty of verde sauce in order to compete with the spicier flavours of their competitor's. However you can't knock their fresh and (if you use their web-site's calorie calculator) potentially healthy ingredients, nor their unique Plate 4 Plate commitment to donate a meal for every burrito purchased in their stores.

Fireball on Bay St

Bay Street was in the news this morning, in dramatic fashion, after the fiery collision between a U-turning car and a motorbike outside IGA. Amazingly, given the aftermath, neither driver required hospital treatment.

Siege history

A cursory Google search reveals that this evening's drama on "trendy" Bay Street was not the first time that the town has involuntarily hosted an armed siege. Four years ago, Williamstown Road was blocked off whilst Police negotiated with a similarly disturbed knifeman, and ten years ago a gunman brought chaos to the Westgate Bridge.

But the most dramatic story comes from February 1975, during the week before colour television was first broadcast, when a young woman fired more than 100 shots from the top of a fuel storage container, in what is now Beacon Cove.

Mythic lord magnum

Until recently burger loving Port Melburnians had a choice of two chain outlets. The ubiquitous yet dismal Nandos and, trying a little harder, an Urban Burger franchise. Now the latter has been replaced, not with a Grill'd as seen in neighbouring suburbs, but with a more independent operation hailing from Mount Buller.

Little has changed inside The Burger Haus with the new owners evidently having aquired almost all of their forerunner's fixtures and fittings. The back room even maintains the same useful wall of posters for upcoming gigs and shows. What is new of course is the menu which is unashamedly (and some would say ridiculously) macho with all burgers bearing names like the Legend, the Phantom and the Prophet.

However it's the flavour that really counts and in this area the Germanic burger house is playing it very safe, with unadventurous fillings of similar quality to an Urban Burger and über ordinary chips. Which is good news perhaps for existing customers but ultimately a shame as, unlike the Victorian Alps, there's serious competition when it comes to gourmet burgers in this city and on initial impressions this place simply doesn't have the necessary mustard cutting tools to return Port into that league.